How Long Would It Take Us?

"We are more inclined to hate one another for points on which we differ, than to love one another for points on which we agree."

- Charles C. Colton (1780-1832), English author & clergyman

Rajiv Chandraswekaran reports the Iraqis are having some difficulty as they attempt to meet the deadline on completing their interim constitution. Chandraswekaran's Washington Post article indicates that disputes over women's rights are a major hang-up:

"The disagreement stemmed from a decison to vote on a resolution introduced by some Shiites that would have imposed sharia, or Islamic law, in adjudicating divorces, inheritances and other family matters. When the resolution was rejected by Sunni members and a few liberal Shiites, two dozen women who had been invited into the council chamber erupted into applause, prompting the eight Shiite members to leave."

I remember being surprised when the Afghans were able to work through their differences and draft a constitution last month. I had a similar lack of confidence in the Iraqis' ability to complete theirs. It appears my pessimism wasn't totally unwarranted, but why shouldn't they be having trouble?

There are those who will point to the Iraqi difficulties with this task and say, "See! I told you! There's no way they're going to make this happen!" I would respond by saying we'd also have problems if suddenly we had no constitution and were asked to write one.

Imagine a convention as diverse as Hillary Clinton, Ann Coulter, Louis Farrakhan, Thomas Sowell, Tim Robbins, James Woods, Molly Ivins, George Will, Roy Moore, Gavin Newsom, Ted Kennedy, Tom DeLay, Gore Vidal, William F. Buckley, Michael Moore, Rush Limbaugh, Bill Maher, Dennis Miller, Jessie Jackson, Pat Buchanan, Barbara Striesand, Charlie Pride, Noam Chomsky and Clarence Thomas.

How long before we'd see their first draft? Possibly never.

Dear Hayden - Part III

"For so it must be, and help me do my part."

    - A Tibetan master

There are trade-offs in anything, and one of these is that we'd change the traditional definition of marriage. It will no longer simply be a union between a man and a woman. Heterosexual males and females may say they want to be married to someone of the same sex too. Brothers and sisters may want to wed. It could also effect change in other laws related to constitutional rights. The Second Amendment comes to mind: "...the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." If the Constitution gives a citizen the right to bear arms, is it legal for a city to pass a law barring him from carrying a weapon? Change creates new problems, but we can cross those bridges when we come to them.

A part of living in this great country, another thing we've debated, is being around people who are different, tolerating those differences, and hopefully working for the common good. I think we forget that sometimes and work harder to impose our own beliefs on others than we do searching for ways to compromise. We need to put on our "tolerant" hats, for rights cut many ways and don't always fit our personal view of how things ought to be.

You and I have never talked much about your homosexuality. That's not odd, I suppose. I've never discussed your brother's heterosexuality with him, either. I don't pretend to understand homosexuality and still struggle with how I feel about it, but I accept it. I think you also struggle in your understanding of me and what I am. Maybe our struggles can be the common ground we use to get closer to each other. I hope the things I've said make sense to you and that you'll feel free to challenge any of them. I sometimes find it difficult to articulate my real feelings, especially about something this emotional and so personal for me. I promise I'll keep trying.

I love you, son. Hope you know that. Take good care of yourself, and stay in touch.

Dad

Dear Hayden - Part II

"The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway."

   - Henry Boye, American songwriter

Mom sent me a copy of her response to your Onion link. I had seen it on one of the blogs I visit and got a chuckle from it myself. Do you think your mother has an opinion about this!? She and I talk about it frequently, and I've thought about it quite a bit. No matter where I look as I scan the web, it's being discussed. It's an extremely emotional issue, maybe more so than when blacks were fighting for their civil rights. Most people are on one side of the debate or the other. I see little middle ground.

I've always been pretty much a "live and let live" person. You may not agree with that, having been on the receiving end of my advice and counsel when you were younger, but in my personal and business relationships I was mostly tolerant of everyone as long as what they were doing didn't hurt others or disrupt what we were being paid to accomplish. I feel the same way about gay marriage. If two people want to wed, I have no problem with that, no matter who they are or what their sexual orientation.

I agree with proponents of gay marriage who say this is about rights. When I read: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness," I can't see how anyone could say what gays are asking for conflicts with what our Founding Fathers believed. I understand you have a law in California stating that marriage is between a man and a woman and your mayor is defying that law, saying it is unconstitutional and should be changed. It may be awhile before that happens, but the first steps have been taken, and eventually it will be. 

(Continued in "Dear Hayden - Part III)

Dear Hayden - Part I

"No man can have society on his own terms."

  - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), American poet

Hayden, my oldest son, recently wrote to give us a first-person account of what's happening in San Francisco:

"Speaking of gay marriage, City Hall is about five blocks from my office. I've stopped by a couple of times to see what's going on... Thousands of gay couples have swooped into the city. Everyone here is just so happy. There have been no riots, no unrest, only a slight altercation when some protestors lay down in front of the hall to prevent anyone from entering. The cops dragged them away to loud cheers from those still waiting to get in, and I heard the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence lead everyone in the Star Spangled Banner..."

He referred us to an Onion article which we read with some amusement, wished us well, and signed off. Hayden is gay, if you haven't figured that out by now. 

Lisbeth wrote him back expressing her support for him and her displeasure with the president for taking the stance he has:

"I have been so disappointed with Bush! ...when is someone going to speak up?...This is definitely one issue that I do not agree with him and his administration on and get sickened when they speak about it. And then there is Cheney with a gay daughter...where is he?"

Though she's upset at the president's proposal, she's glad that people are discussing gay rights, most particularly gay marriage, and feels that these debates will provide an opportunity for gays to show our society their intelligence, maturity, compassion and the genuine goodness that is within them.

While I've tried to maintain neutrality about gay marriage, and have resisted discussing it in this blog, I'm being pulled into the fray. I'd like to give you a few of my thoughts and feel the best way to do this is to share my response to Hayden's letter. You'll find it in the next post.

When a "Win" Is a Loss

"When people start standing in line to get out of this country instead of standing in line to get in, then we can start worrying about our system."

- Bernard Baruch (1870-1965), American financier and diplomat

Dean Esmay over at Dean's World takes a stab at explaining our Electoral College System in order to help one of his Irish readers understand how we elect our president and vice-president. I think he does a pretty good job of simplifying it for the gentleman.

Because of this system, it is possible for a candidate to lose the popular vote, but still win the presidency. In fact, this has occurred 3 times in our history, most recently in the 2000 election, when George W. Bush defeated Albert Gore, Jr. with 271 electoral votes to 266 while losing the popular vote 50,456,062 to 50,996,582.

Many people don't understand how this happened and have suggested changing our system so that our president would be elected by popular vote only. Our founding fathers had legitimate fears about this. Do you think the concerns they had when establishing our current process are still valid today? It would appear they aren't, but anytime we start messing with our Constitution I think caution is in order. What do you think? 

How Much Is Enough?

"In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other."

  - Voltaire (1694-1778), French author and philosopher

In his Townhall.com column, Neil Cavuto utilizes an elementary approach in discussing tax cuts with guests who favor higher taxes. Using a dollar bill as a prop, he asks, "How much of this dollar do you think the average American worker deserves?"

In a post I wrote last year I discussed how long an average American has to work each year to satisfy all his tax liabilities. I linked to another columnist who estimated it takes over half the year to meet those obligations. That seems to me an overly burdensome thing for our governments to ask of us.

Having said that, I'm not in favor of banning taxes. They're a price we pay for being citizens of this country, and I feel that everyone should pay his fair share. What is a fair share? American salesman Cullen Hightower once said, "There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little--and it's always somebody else." He may be talking about the "rich," those robber-barons in the top 25% of Americans who already pay over 80% of our taxes. Is that a fair share?

"But if we don't raise taxes, how will we pay down the deficits that the irresponsible Bush administration has created?" I hear someone ask. Did you know that Kerry and Edwards both plan to increase spending, making the deficit even worse? The more of our money politicians have, the more they spend.

So how much is enough? Tough question. I'm happy now, but I won't be if the tax cuts aren't made permanent. How about you?

What About the Jobs?

"It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit."

    - Noel Coward (1899-1973), English actor

Steve Chapman, of the Chicago Tribune, has written an informative column about outsourcing American jobs, one of the hot topics in the presidential campaign this year.

"Many people assume any job that migrates from America to another country permanently diminishes our employment base. Hence the furor over White House economic adviser Greg Mankiw's remark that 'outsourcing' of jobs to other countries 'is probably a plus for the economy in the long run.' But the angry reaction is just a reminder of journalist Michael Kinsley's adage that in Washington, a gaffe is not when someone tells a lie--it's when someone tells the truth."

Chapman points out that disappearing jobs is not some new phenomenon in America, that our economy typically loses and creates 7 to 8 million jobs every quarter:

"We shouldn't mourn the anticipated loss of 3.3 million jobs while ignoring the vastly more numerous positions that will replace them. I say this even though some of those lost jobs may be in my profession."

Editors at The Economist agree with Chapman's advice and cite economists William Baumol, Alan Blinder and Edward Wolff in their book, Downsizing in America: Reality, Causes and Consequences:

"...the creation of new jobs always overwhelms the destruction of old jobs by a huge margin."

Jobs will continue going overseas, but, as Chapman says, "A nation doesn't prosper by spending lots of money to produce goods or provide services that foreigners can offer for less."

Take a look at both articles for additional insight on this important issue. There's more to it than meets the eye.

Kerry or Edwards?

"The time your game is most vulnerable is when you're ahead. Never let up."

    - Rod Laver, Australian tennis champion

If you're a political junkie, you may enjoy visiting Columbia Journalism Review's new feature, The Campaign Desk. Its editors are using the web to monitor and critique political reporting in real time which I suppose you could say makes it a blog. They're posting some good stuff.

An example for you to consider is Thomas Lang's recent effort, "Kerry: Most Unpopular Kid on the Playground?" Lang has recapped blogger opinions about which of the Democratic candidates is more electable.

Daily Kos says, "...people vote for Kerry not because they are inspired, agree with his policies, or otherwise find him an attractive candidate. They vote for him because they think he is 'most electable'. And that aura is fading."

Lang also posts opinions from CalPundit, Andrew Sullivan, Tapped, and Mark A.R. Kleiman. All are worth a read.

I don't believe either Democrat can beat Bush, nor do I believe Edwards will be able to quell Kerry's momentum. That's a shame, because Edwards would probably fare better against the president than Kerry will.

Take a look at the site. I believe you'll enjoy the commentary enough to stop by more than once.

Staying Together

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."

     - W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), French born author

Recently someone asked me what I thought was the secret to longevity in a marriage. This person had been divorced twice and was currently trying to make one of his new relationships work.

This isn't the type of question I'm inclined to think about a lot, but when I do I usually consider my own marriage. Elisabeth and I have been together for almost four decades, and while we've had our share of ups and downs, I think if you asked us, we'd both say we've mostly enjoyed our time together. Each of us has changed a lot over the years, and while most of the changes have not been too hard to deal with, a few have been gut-wrenching. Always, we've managed to work our way through them and eventually accept them in each other.

I believe one thing that has allowed this to happen has been the freedom and encouragement we've given each other to be the person we wanted to be, to grow as individuals rather than becoming extensions of each other. At times we've both wanted to go down paths that were very uncomfortable for the other, and it was almost always easier to resist her need to move in a new direction than it was to promise unbridled support.

Usually though, after discussing things, we'd acknowledge the possible disruption to our marriage, agree to accomodate it, then forge ahead. While every change hasn't worked out for the best, most have, and what has resulted has been a richer, more interesting, life for both of us.

As I think about this, I recall the words of Kahlil Gibran in his essay "On "Marriage" in The Prophet: "But let there be spaces in your togetherness/And let the winds of the heavens dance between you/Love one another, but make not a bond of love." 

It's difficult to say it any better than that.

Muzzling Students?

"What you see ain't what I see."

-The character Captain to the character Eddie in The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom

As I was reading InstaPundit this morning, I happened upon this link to Erin O'Connor's weblog, Critical Mass. O'Connor's post, "Irony of the Day," discussed a recent speech by historian Arthur Schlesinger which was delivered to students at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania.

Schlesinger's talk, titled "Patriotism and Dissent in Wartime," focused on his belief that the Bush administration is opposed to political dissent. He was particularly critical of John Ashcroft's address before the Senate Judiciary Committee in December 2001, labeling Ashcroft's remarks as a move to discourage free speech.

O'Connor feels this is ironic because there is no free speech at Swarthmore. "...if John Ashcroft were a Swarthmore student, he could conceivably file charges against Swarthmore for allowing Schlesinger to speak so critically and derisively of him."

I've been of the impression that one of the purposes of higher education is to encourage students to air and discuss all sides of any issue, no matter how sensitive or unpopular it might be. I suppose I've been wrong.

This USA Today article goes into some detail about how, on many campuses today, dissent is discouraged and sometimes punished. Evidently, it is a fairly widespread phenomenon, for at least one organization has been formed to put freedom of speech back into the college classroom. They've had some success. Perhaps all this is necessary, but whatever happened to the First Amendment?

Land That I Love

"I don't think it does any harm just once in awhile to acknowledge that the whole country isn't in flames, that there are people in the country besides politicians, entertainers, and criminals."

     - Charles Kuralt (1934-1997), travel correspondent

While expressing his views about why Howard Dean has gone down in flames, Jeff Jarvis at his weblog, BuzzMachine, made the point that, "We the voters, didn't want to hear Dean (and Gore behind him) telling us how screwed up our country was and how much we needed to change it...We wanted to hear a candidate start by saying he liked America, he loved America."

Someone calling himself "Franky," who took exception to Jeff's conclusions, left a comment challenging him to "...name the exceptional things about America that make it great," then facetiously answered his own request. Jeff responded to "Franky" in this post, listing nine things that he feels are extraordinary about our country, then invited his readers to contribute their thoughts. Over 140 have done so as I write this.

While I enjoyed reading what Jeff had to say, I must admit that the comments, including the negative ones, were also thought-provoking. Take a few minutes to visit the links, and while you're at it, take a look at the many excellent comments those who've read Jeff's posts have made. You may want to become a part of the discussion too. What do you think makes this country great?

Twenty-Eight Questions

"Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory."

- John Kenneth Galbraith, Canadian born American economist

In late January, 2003, I cited a Rich Lowry article at National Review Online in which Lowry discussed contradictions between John Kerry's Senate voting record and statements he's been making in his recent campaign speeches.

Today, I ran across a column by syndicated columnist George Will, in the Sacramento Bee, in which he presses Kerry for answers to a number of questions that are bothering him:

"...what does the adjective mean in the phrase 'special interest'? Is the National Education Association a special interest? The AFL-CIO?"

"Is the National Rifle Association a 'special interest'? Is 'special' a synonym for 'conservative'?"

"When you denounce 'lobbyists' do you include those for Planned Parenthood and the Sierra Club? Is 'liberal lobbyist' an oxymoron?"

"You say the rich do not pay enough taxes. In 1979 the top 1 percent of earners paid 19.75 percent of income taxes. Today they pay 36.3 percent. How much is enough?"

"You say the federal government is not spending enough on education. President Bush has increased education spending 48 percent. How much is enough?"

Will poses twenty more queries for Mr. Kerry. Frankly, I'd also like to hear his responses, for if Kerry should win the Democratic nomination and be elected, they will become important to me too.

So how about it, John? Take a shot at giving us some answers. I'd prefer thoughtful, serious ones, not rants. I'm waiting...

 

The Elusive Link

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

       - Cyril Connolly (1903-1974), English writer

Donald Sensing on his weblog, One Hand Clapping, has written an excellent post about new bloggers getting linked to other, more experienced, bloggers' sites. This is something many covet. Others could care less.

Personally, I write for my own satisfaction, but I truly enjoy knowing that others are reading what I'm posting, and always look forward to readers' comments or emails about something they've seen on my weblog. Their responses make it feel like I'm having a little give-and-take with a friend or acquaintance, and I've always enjoyed that.

Sensing, who is one of the "heavy hitters" in the blogging world, offers advice based on experience at his own weblog:

"There is only so much room on the blogroll. I just won't put a link there to a site that doesn't have some proven longevity...I personally like blogs that are serious in nature and that add value to news and events by interpreting them within broader contexts...I don't use profanity...you must write well. If I get a few sentences into a post and can't figure out what you're trying to say, I just stop and close the window."

Quite a few comments accompany Sensing's post and there's a lot of good advice to be found in them as well. Input from his mostly thoughtful visitors ranges from humorous self-promotion to ambivalence about "begging" the InstaPundit's of the world to throw them a crumb.

I like what Mr. Sensing offers in his closing remarks: "...perseverance is key. Keep plugging away. When I stopped writing in order to get lots of links is when I started to get them. In other words, I decided to write to please myself first, and it was then my blog began resonating with others."

 

OOOXXXOOO

"Love: when the getting and the giving all run together."

      - Ronald E. Nantz

I promised myself I wouldn't write about Valentine's Day, but I've been thinking about it a lot, so that must mean something. Dr. Phil didn't help matters when he presented a Valentine's Day surprise for his wife, Robin, on his show today. He also tried to help a poor "unromantic" husband learn how to be more attentive in ways his wife would appreciate. All day, things kept happening that made it seem inevitable that I'd be opining about love and romance tonight.

So what makes tomorrow so special to the female of the species? Try forgetting it, and you'll probably find out, but maybe not in a way you'll enjoy. Personally, I think it's a time when your spouse or significant other expects you to reveal your softer side and profess your love in a way that she will remember and makes her feel special.

A card is the absolute minimum that you can get away with, trust me. To make the day memorable for her should be your objective, and a card, while it's thoughtful, may not be something she'll remember 10 years from now. Flowers sometimes work, but again, not too memorable--unless perhaps when you were dating and lacking funds, you gathered a bouquet from the field between your house and hers and presented them to her when she anticipated nothing.

To be memorable, your gift must be something she wouldn't expect from you. Put on your thinking caps, guys. What could you do for her that she'd never in a million years envision you doing?

If you've never written her a letter, that's an idea. Creating your own card, as in hand-drawn, might be good too. Whatever it is, you've got to convey to her that it took some time and thought on your part--and that it came from your heart. Go to a little trouble, do something that requires some effort. Picking up the phone and ordering some posies is a snap bro, and taking the easy way out just doesn't cut it in terms of creating memories. Loving her, it shouldn't be that difficult to come up with something really unique. It'll be worth it. Promise. 

 

Maybe This Will Work Out

"All progress isn't forward."

     - E.W. Solberg, Calimera, California

The situation in Afghanistan has held my attention for some time. One reason for this is that a neighbor of mine has been a part of the re-building process and has been kind enough to give me periodic updates on our progress.

Back in December I wrote about the Afghans' struggle for consensus in formulating a constitution, then in January, I celebrated with them as they completed their work. Last night I stumbled across more good news on the Captain's Quarters weblog. Take a look. It's encouraging to see that these people may finally be getting a chance to come together as a self-governing country.

Perhaps the day will come when we will see the same thing happening in Iraq. Despite what you hear from the nay-sayers in the media, despite the continued efforts by terrorists to disrupt the process and despite the sometimes flagging confidence in our president and his administration, good things have happened and should continue to unless we lose heart and turn from the task. 

Omar, an Iraqi blogger, is glad we're there. This post at his weblog, IRAQ THE MODEL, gives his viewpoint on many of the things that have transpired in his country since the U.S. and coalition forces arrived. It's worth a read. 

Back Home And a Year Older

"Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart."

     - Victor Hugo (1802-1885), French writer

I wish I could have stayed longer. The weather was beautiful, the companionship delightful and the food scrumptious. I can't say much about how I played golf, but there were moments, even there, that were memorable. As always, it's good to be back home.

I was thinking about what I might write tonight when my wife suggested my birthday as a topic. "Yuk, no one cares about my birthday, Lisbeth--not even me!" She prevailed, however, and talked me into sharing some of the things I've learned in the 63 years I've been living. So here goes:

- There is more to anything than what is apparent.
- We don't always see ourselves as we really are.
- It is never too late to change.
- You can learn something from everyone you meet.
- Finding someone to blame never solves a problem.
- There's a way to do anything you really want to do.
- The most confident man may be the least secure.
- Children may not walk the path you wish them to.
- Facing your fears makes you a better person.
- Faking it rarely gives you the result you desire.
- Hatred hurts you more than the one you hate.
- Children's dreams should never be discouraged.
- Every solution creates another problem.
- If everyone agrees with you, check your plan.
- You can choose to be happy--or sad.
- Facing death gives you a great appreciation for life.
- Listening is harder than talking.
- Helping someone else almost always helps you.
- Criticism rarely brings anyone to your point of view.
- Tough times teach the most profound lessons.
- Great strengths can also be great weaknesses.
- You get what you give.
- Comparing yourself to others is a fruitless exercise.
- Telling the truth works out better than telling a lie.
- Always put a date on your photographs.

Okay, enough. Now you tell me some of the things you've learned. Maybe we can write a book.