"For so it must be, and help me do my part."
- A Tibetan master
There are trade-offs in anything, and one of these is that we'd change the traditional definition of marriage. It will no longer simply be a union between a man and a woman. Heterosexual males and females may say they want to be married to someone of the same sex too. Brothers and sisters may want to wed. It could also effect change in other laws related to constitutional rights. The Second Amendment comes to mind: "...the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." If the Constitution gives a citizen the right to bear arms, is it legal for a city to pass a law barring him from carrying a weapon? Change creates new problems, but we can cross those bridges when we come to them.
A part of living in this great country, another thing we've debated, is being around people who are different, tolerating those differences, and hopefully working for the common good. I think we forget that sometimes and work harder to impose our own beliefs on others than we do searching for ways to compromise. We need to put on our "tolerant" hats, for rights cut many ways and don't always fit our personal view of how things ought to be.
You and I have never talked much about your homosexuality. That's not odd, I suppose. I've never discussed your brother's heterosexuality with him, either. I don't pretend to understand homosexuality and still struggle with how I feel about it, but I accept it. I think you also struggle in your understanding of me and what I am. Maybe our struggles can be the common ground we use to get closer to each other. I hope the things I've said make sense to you and that you'll feel free to challenge any of them. I sometimes find it difficult to articulate my real feelings, especially about something this emotional and so personal for me. I promise I'll keep trying.
I love you, son. Hope you know that. Take good care of yourself, and stay in touch.
Dad
8 comments:
I am a younge straight female, although I have many gay friends and support them in every way, I don't fully understand what is going on with the gay marriages but I do know, that its being blown out of porportion. Its insain, if this will make millions of Americans happy i don't know why others are standing in the way. I think you are amazing for believeing in your son even when you don't understand, I wish every parent of a gay child would be as open as you and your wife are.
I am constantly amazed at "our President", and what he chooses to focus on for our benefit in this great land. Pandering is such a strong suit for him that it is a wonder that we aren't totally fractured. I am afraid it is coming though. So much for our cohesiveness of post 9-11. We have much more in common with gays than not and to deny them their civil rights is not right and never will be. The push is long overdue.
You have my sincere admiration for your openmindedness on this issue and how it relates to your son's sexual orientation. I think in a few years, we'll look back at all this and wonder what all the fuss was about.
John Scalzi has written some very eloquent stuff about this in his non-AOL blog, Whatever. Check this out...
http://www.scalzi.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/380
Thanks for the link to Scalzi's other blog, Duane. I'll be sure to read what he has to say.
What a beautiful Dad you are. xxoo
This was a moving set of posts. This kind of personal perspective is something that works very well in the blog format, it seems to me. - Bruce
I admire you for loving your son more than your personal feelings about this. This would be hard to understand and accept I am sure, especially for a man. I wonder how I would have felt if my son had told me he was gay? Hopefully with the same grace as you have displayed. You sound like a great dad!
I wanted you to know how much I admire you and the courage it took to put yourself out there . . . you may never know how many people you are giving an opportunity to share themselves as vulnerabily. . .you are an inspiration to me dear heart - dory
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