I'm Losing My Friends

"For years I wanted to be older, and now I am."

             -Margaret Atwood

Until just a few years ago I never gave getting older much thought.  In fact, as I neared the end of my career I was wishing that time would move more quickly so I could retire and get on with all the things I wanted to do.  At the time I was in good health, still strong and could participate in about any physical activity I chose to try. 

Well, retirement finally came and I found myself free to follow any dream I desired.  Then I got cancer.  Without going into detail, it was a long and arduous battle, which hopefully, I've won.  So then I'm ready to get on with the big plans, but find myself sitting in a church paying my last respects to one of my best friends...younger than me I might add. 

I'd hardly gotten over that loss when another buddy who accompanied me to Ireland on the golf-trip-of-a-lifetime developed chest pains and died on the way to the emergency room only months after we had returned from our overseas trip.  On the outside he looked fine.  On the inside, as we later found out, he was a time bomb.

And today, my wife and I attended the funeral of another friend who developed cancer shortly after retirement, had it treated what seemed to be successfully, then as this disease sometimes does, it reared its ugly head and came back to claim him.

That's three friends in less than eighteen months, not a pace that I'm happy with, but unfortunately one of the realities of growing older in a place where most of our neighbors and friends are retired seniors.  All of a sudden you're wondering who's going to be next.  And guess what?  I realize it could be me, and I suppose that's all right because I'm not sure I want to be the last man standing. 

Another friend who is considering retirement and is aware of the buddies I've lost laughingly told me the other day that he's not sure it's something that's safe to do.  But he probably will...despite the risks.