My Other Selves

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision."

            - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)

Over the years I've come to realize there were many "me's" that I projected to the world.

There was the "me" who led various groups in the business world, with different versions of "me" that I presented to my employees, my peers, my bosses, my customers and my contractors.

There was the "me" I displayed to my friends.  I had a "me" for close friends, another for regular friends and another for acquaintances.  There was a face I used for large social engagements and another for small, informal get-togethers. 

I had a "me" for my family too.  My uncles, aunts and cousins were treated to a different "me" than my dad, mom, brothers, nieces and nephews.  There was a unique "me" for my wife and sons.

Who was this chameleon?  All the "me's" were variations of the real me, and I can't say I consciously switched roles as I encountered different people.  It was more or less an automatic response driven by what seemed expedient at the time. 

As I became older I noticed that I began shedding some of the "me's" that I had used over the years.  I behaved more and more like the "real me" with anyone I happened to be around.  Perhaps I became more comfortable that who I am was okay, and I didn't need to play a role to be successful in my relationships. That felt better.

Oh, I still have a couple of "me's" in reserve that I can use should the need arise, but it's a lot easier to just be me with everyone I meet than to worry about what "me" is most acceptable to them.  And, gee, the people I find myself with might appreciate the fact that the person they're talking to is really who he seems to be. 

Wish I'd thought of this sooner.  It would have made life simpler.